Insecurity has been driven out of Lagos with effect from 1st February 2020. Without wasting tax payers money to fund ‘Amotekun’, the state government has found an ingenuous way of making the city more secured. With a stroke of pen and a few days of radio announcements the bad elements who disrupt the flow of Lagos were chased out of the city. I was told that but for the magnanimity of the Governor, the ‘unscrupulous elements’ would have been driven into the Lagoon. Our action Governor, I hail you. All those who nicknamed you ‘point and kill governor’ can now see that your finger pointing is not pointless. Wehdone!!

I love government power and government magic sha. Just think of a problem and make it disappear. Insecurity, bad roads, traffic congestion… make all disappear. Fiam!!  Like an handkerchief in the hands of a conjurer problems disappear. Just like that. It does not matter if they reappear in the inner pocket of someone else’s danshikj.

So Lagos State government has solved the problems of insecurity and traffic congestion with the directive restricting Commercial tricycles and motorcycles from operating in selected parts of Lagos. No one can fault Lagos State government for being proactive in today’s Nigeria that is very much like Thomas Hobbes state of nature where life is brutish and short. However, one wonders why the ban is restricted to the commercial part of Lagos and not the suburbs. Is the threat posed by three and two wheeled commercial transport operators against only the affluent? Or is the government trying to protect the affluent from the excesses of the poor?

Today is the first working day since the policy began and Lagos is at peace as envisaged. Traffic is lighter and Lagosians are compulsorily tucking in their bellies and pockets. It’s the dawn of a leaner Lagos. After waiting ad infinitum for buses that aren’t available, commuters are walking miles just so they could get to work. Those who have received the new minimum wage and can afford taxis are paying three times the usual fare. A friend who was caught up in the lean Lagos madness described the situation as being like Ole’s ManU conceding a penalty and getting a man sent off. Living in Lagos just got harder.

Let’s assume that I am naive. The Lagos State government means well but like many, I have chosen to misunderstand the very good intentions. Hmmm!! Someone should make me understand this good intentions… after all it is the responsibility of a man who visits a potential in-law to explain his mission.  Let us assume too that the hardship being faced by commuters is the unintended consequence of a good policy. Without doubt, it is. But whose responsibility is it to envisage consequences and plan containment measures? What stopped the initiators of this policy from rolling out enough buses before introducing the policy? Who is unaware that with better alternative means of commuting, two and three wheeled commercial transportation will disappear? Truth is that Lagosians patronize these transportation concoctions because they don’t have alternative. Make viable alternatives available and you won’t need to ban or unban anybody.

As daunting as it sounds, the inconveniences of slimmer pockets and reduced body max indexes are in my view the least of the problems. What would happen to the thousand of citizens whose families depend on income from three and two wheeled transportation businesses? No one is thinking of them. Perhaps because our benevolent government is more preoccupied with traffic congestion to care about the security implication of having thousands of jobless able bodied men with motor park experiences. Perhaps our loving government in the spirit of the valentine season loves us so much that they’ll rather secure us in February than bother to think that the jobless men that will be bred by this new policy would become the kidnappers of tomorrow. Perhaps our Lords at Alausa aren’t thinking at all about the social implications of this noble policy. Perhaps no one is seeing that the masses of this nation are approaching a boiling point. Anyway, what does a man from the hills of AKoko know apart from the different colors of cocoa pods? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

February , 2020